RSS

Printer Chapter or Story
- Text Size +

Author's Chapter Notes:
Back in Imladris, Glorfindel has to deal with the consequences of his actions...

internal thoughts be in italics

Ethuil, Imladris, 2818 T.A.

Elrond rose from his desk as Glorfindel entered his study. “Have some tea with me, meldir.”

“That sounds wonderful this morn, but surely you did not request my presence just to drink tea, híren?” Glorfindel accepted the offered cup and seated himself in the chair before Elrond’s desk.

Elrond glanced at his Seneschal and noticed his tired visage. “Am I so transparent to you? Well, I was wondering if there had been any word or sighting of Gildor and Erestor.” Elrond sipped his tea and casually sat himself on the edge of his desk. He was a bit uncomfortable with the discussion to come, but he didn’t want to let it show.

Glorfindel scooted his chair back and stretched his long legs straight out. “Nothing. But, truly, they have been this late before. There is no reason for concern for at least another fortnight. I am certain everything is fine,” he said, sounding more confident than he felt. He had felt some disquiet when the pair hadn’t arrived as scheduled, and, in truth, his own concern was growing with each passing day. There was no way he would let Elrond know that, though. He had had enough lectures about “listening to his heart” and “letting go of the past” to last several lifetimes!

“You are right, I know. It is just that those two are dear to me… besides, Imladris would fall apart without Erestor to organize everything!” Elrond laughed slightly to ease the tension. “I am probably just unsure how this Council will go without Erestor coordinating it all. He manages things in such a way that everything flows so effortlessly.” He sighed, took a couple of sips and continued on, “which leads me to another subject…” he started, hoping that this topic would not degrade into an argument, “Galadriel has requested that you keep away from Haldir, Orophin, and Rúmil during the upcoming Council.”

“What?! And you agreed to this request for me? What has gotten into you, Elrond? I thought we were friends? We are all adults. Those three are not elflings!” Glorfindel was outraged and beginning on quite a rant when Elrond shushed him. “Enough! Of course we are friends. And, as your friend, I must be honest with you for no one else will be. You have left a wide swath in your wake; not just here, but on your visits to Mirkwood and Lothlórien as well.”

He stopped, struggling for the right words to get through to his friend, “Fin, you have been anything but discreet of late and that, in turn, has led to gossip which has given you quite a reputation. Galadriel loves those three as though they were her own sons. She will not tolerate them getting hurt. That is why she made the request and I agreed. Not just for their sake, but for yours, meldir.”

“My sake?! How is this about me?” Glorfindel snorted.

“You have only gotten worse, hopping from bed to bed like they are on fire. You cannot run from your feelings forever. They will catch up to you. You will have to acknowledge how you feel about him. This elf that you have become is not truly you. Do you even like yourself right now?” Elrond cringed, fearing his words had come out too strong.

“I have never lied to any of them. I never made promises or said words of love. I never even stayed the entire night. It has always been casual. Why is that so wrong?” Glorfindel asked softly as he sagged. He hoped Elrond didn’t realize how close to home his words had struck. In truth, he thought guiltily, there had been one in the past in whose arms he had awoken. He envisioned wavy, ebony hair and then saw the pain in those brown eyes, and frowned.

Elrond’s words pulled him back, “Those are just words and may be a balm for your conscience, but they do not help when someone gets hurt. Mere words cannot ease the pain of a broken heart and you know this.” Elrond sighed. How is it that these conversations always turned into a veiled discussion of his relationship with Erestor? Oh, so often he wished that that dreadful summer had never happened! His world fell apart when Celebrían sailed, and his two dearest friends fell into each other’s arms only to be ripped apart by Fin’s past. Can we ever be whole again?

Elrond changed the subject, hoping to ease the melancholy that had settled between them, “do you need more sleeping draught? You look as though you have not slept in days.”

“Aye, I guess I do. You know I hate the stuff, though. I hate how I feel in the morning, but the nightmares are not subsiding. If anything, they are much stronger, more visceral these past few nights.” Glorfindel shuddered and closed his eyes, the awful sights, sounds, and even smells coming back to assault him. He again saw Ecthelion fall… “Fin!” until Elrond’s shaking him pulled him back to the present.

“Fin, please. Let me help. You cannot even concentrate anymore. I will stay with you, meldir. You do not have to carry this burden alone. Accept some help.” Elrond was truly worried for his friend. With Erestor holding Glorfindel each night, his nightmares had finally ceased and he could even begin to sleep alone. But, again, that was before that accursed summer when their perfect world had slipped into chaos! Here we stand, three islands of loneliness and pain completely unable to reach across the chasm of our past hurts to succor and restore each other.

A knock interrupted both elves’ musings. “Come.”

Saelbeth felt the sadness in the room when he entered the study. “Milord, I can return later if this is not a good time…”

“No, no. That is fine, Saelbeth. I know there is much to do in the next few weeks. Please, continue.”

“And I, too, have much to do.” Glorfindel got up and started toward the door then he turned, “how about a game of chess after dinner, Elrond?”

Elrond looked up, “Yes, that would be perfect, meldir.” Then he turned back to his desk where he and Saelbeth began to discuss the armful of papers and plans that Saelbeth had carried in.

~~~*~~~


Glorfindel went to his own office to review the patrols and reports. He hated paperwork and was thankful that his second, Aurvellas, was so organized and good at it. But that still didn’t alleviate him of his duty. The one thing that Fin would never let lapse was his sense of duty and responsibility. He was sent back to defend Elrond and his family and nothing would interfere with that! Not even his inner demons.

When it became obvious that he was in no state of mind to finish the stack on his desk, Glorfindel pushed back his chair and strode out of his office. He knew what he needed – physical activity. He strode to the training grounds in the hopes of finding at least one of the senior guards available to spar with.

When he arrived, Aurvellas was finishing archery instruction with the newest recruits. Glorfindel beckoned him over to the sparring grounds after the recruits were dismissed. “Vella, get over here. You look like you could use some tension relief,” he teased the dark haired elf.

Aurvellas groaned when he saw the glint in Glorfindel’s eyes and realized that he was in for a thorough workout, “Aye, Sir. The new recruits are not doing at all well with the bow. I fear that we need a different instructor, but we have no one with the skill available.”

Aurvellas is an exceptional swordsman, one of the best in Imladris, but he was still outclassed by Glorfindel. Once he was disarmed, and even though Fin discarded his own weapon, their match was quickly over. Only one other in Imladris could hold their own without arms against Glorfindel’s size, strength, and agility, and few even realize there was such a one. “I yield. Now let me up, you cave troll!” Aurvellas cursed when he was thrown and lay, flattened, under Glorfindel for the second time.

Glorfindel laughed, “You are slow today, meldir,” he said as he helped Aurvellas to his feet.

“I am no slower than usual you were just unusually vicious today. Any reason in particular you felt the need to squash something?”

More than I can count. I shall not trouble you with them though, meldir. “Nothing really. Just a lot of little things, I think. Come on. I have some salve for those bruises, and a massage, if you are interested?” Glorfindel leered at the ellon before him, enjoying the vision in front of him. Aurvellas was not as tall as he, but was broad chested with powerful arms and legs. The warrior’s straight brown hair was coming undone from its braids and his bare skin was covered in sweat and dirt, darkening his normally fair skin.

Aurvellas heard the invitation and looked at his Captain, whose intent was obvious to his grey eyes, as both ellyn’s leggings were uncomfortably tight. He is glorious without a shirt with that sheen of sweat covering his chest. To be held in those arms, and taken by Fin is wonderful, but I need more than that. I can no longer be just his release. I want to wake up with someone, not in an empty bed. “Just the salve, meldir, and thank you, but I desire nothing else today,” he demurred.

“As you wish. We can discuss our archery problem in the baths, then.” Fin was a bit taken back by his refusal. They were often partners, especially after a vigorous sparring session left both elves intensely aroused. Maybe Elrond is right. Things have gotten out of hand lately. Have I truly hurt so many? How did I get to this place and how do I fix this?

The pair walked quietly to the bath house, each lost in their own thoughts. Once they arrived at the enclosed stone structure, Glorfindel grabbed a few towels from the tables at the entrance and strode to a smaller pool farther in the back. Aurvellas hesitantly followed, concerned that his refusal would be tested. “Come, meldir, we can talk more freely back here,” the Elda sensed his Second’s reticence and he wanted to put his friend at ease. He sighed and ran his hands through his tangled hair to pull the braids out.

Soon they were both clean and relaxing in the warm pool fed by hot springs from under Imladris. The air was dense and smelled slightly sulfuric, casting a foggy halo around everything as Anor shone through the leaded glass skylights in the roof of the building. Glorfindel turned to look at his friend who still had not completely relaxed, “Meldir, I would take nothing you did not wish to give. Please. You know this.”

Aurvellas shrugged, “I do know. I doubt you not. There is a war inside of me. Part of me screams for me to throw myself in your arms and lose myself in the moment, but a larger part holds me back. It whispers that you are not in love with me and never will be. I should wait for one that I can give my all to and take the same in return.”

“Forgive me, meldir. I did not intend to hurt you…” his shoulders dropped, “I did not intend to hurt anyone…” his voice trailed off.

“Aí, I know, Fin. You did nothing wrong, it is just that I have tired of the games, the emptiness of it all. I want more; someone to love, not just a lover. Can we put this behind us and remain friends?”

The Elda’s head shot up and he looked into smiling grey eyes, “I would like nothing more than that, mellon nín. Hannon le.”

Aurvellas felt the tension finally leave him and he sighed in relief. “Now, Captain, you mentioned a solution to our lack of qualified archery instructors?”

Glorfindel was thrilled that he had not pushed yet another away that he cared for. “I was thinking of proposing an exchange during the upcoming Council…”

Aurvellas quickly grasped his Captain’s idea, “Oh, I see… we offer swords, armor, and training to Mirkwood in exchange for bows and training in archery for Imladris. Clever idea. Fresh blood always inspires warriors to strive harder as they attempt to best the newcomers. Do you think that it is possible King Thranduil would agree?”

“That remains to be seen, but it is a fair trade and a good solution to our problem and Mirkwood’s. I do not believe that Thranduil is stupid, insular maybe, but not stupid. I believe he will consider it.”

“Your answer almost makes me eager for the Council. I was beginning to despair that our latest recruits would ever measure up. It is good to have your mind applied to our needs,” Aurvellas paused, and then asked, “Will you join us in the Hall of Fire tonight after dinner?” Lately the only time his Captain had come to the Hall of Fire was when someone had caught his eye and he was planning on leaving with that someone.

“Nay, I have previously committed to a chess match or two with Lord Elrond tonight. Perhaps some other night, if your invitation still holds?”

“Of course, our door will always be open to you, meldir.”

TBC

Translations:
Ethuil – late spring
meldir – my friend (male)
híren – my lord
ellon – male elf
hannon le – I thank you
You must login (register) to review.