Author's Chapter Notes:
SÃdhiel is recovering and Erestor’s patience snaps.
internal thoughts be in italics
Chapter 25:
Laer, Imladris, 2818 T.A.
The darkness was filled with foul smells, hair raising sounds, and brief glimpses of horrifying shapes. Wherever she ran, Sídhiel could not get away from them. Sídhiel moaned softly and grew increasingly restless, until she began to thrash in the bed. A cool cloth pressed to her forehead and Erestor’s hands on her cheeks failed to calm her.
“Shhhh…” he began crooning softly while stroking her hair around the bandages.
Suddenly she cried out, “Ada!” and sat bolt upright in the bed. As she sobbed, Erestor slipped into the bed with her, wrapping her up in a warm embrace. He hummed and whispered to her while rubbing soothingly along her un-bandaged arm and back.
Gradually Sídhiel calmed and Erestor heard a barely audible croak against his chest. “Water?”
Before Erestor could turn to the side table, Elrond was at their side, holding a glass to the child’s parched lips. “Here. Drink slowly. It has been a long while since you had more than a few swallows.” Elrond’s voice was calm, warm, and soothing, and Sídhiel did as asked before relaxing back into Erestor’s arms.
“Hurts,” she managed to squeeze out.
Elrond tenderly checked the bandage on her head, eliciting a soft moan. After checking her leg and arm, he looked up and met Erestor’s dark gaze. He shook his head and stepped away, returning quickly with a small cup of warm herbal tea which he pressed to Sídhiel’s lips. “Drink this, pen dithen. It will make it stop hurting.”
Sídhiel drank the tea which had enough honey to mask the healing herbs. She still clung to Erestor, but quickly succumbed to the infusion and drifted off. Erestor held his daughter until he met Elrond’s eyes. They settled Sídhiel back into the bed, but Erestor felt a hand pressing him down before he could move off the bed.
“Rest. Get comfortable… well as much as you can in these beds. We will watch over you both while you sleep.” Elrond was firm, his eyes daring Erestor to argue.
Erestor had barely slept since Sídhiel was brought in injured, staying by her side except to relieve himself. He nodded and shifted, careful of his daughter’s injured head and her broken arm.
Once Elrond was assured that his patient and his friend were asleep, he turned to the doorway and nodded. Glorfindel tentatively walked in, not wanting to wake up Sídhiel or Erestor.
“Sídhiel will recover?” he asked almost silently.
Elrond nodded and stood, steering them to the door. “She will be fine now that she has woken.” As they entered the hallway, he closed the door behind him and crossed his arms over his chest as he met Glorfindel’s eyes, his frowning. “Will you continue to skulk in the shadows and only visit while they sleep? Sídhiel will wonder what she has done to lose you.”
Glorfindel sighed tiredly. “Elrond. Leave it.”
Elrond’s eyes conveyed what he thought but he said no more as Glorfindel walked away.
~~~
Three weeks later
Elrond stood on his balcony and grinned at the sight in the gardens below him. There was an impromptu picnic going on and it was proving to be quite entertaining. Sídhiel was giving orders to Elladan and Erestor from her perch on the side of the fountain. Their mumbled complaints made it to Elrond’s ears, while Sídhiel’s laughter was bright as Melpomaen and Silamothien joined them. She jumped up quickly and limped over to Mel who met her more than halfway.
The food was laid out and just as they settled down a blond joined the happy group. Sídhiel’s excited squeal echoed through the gardens.
“Uncle Gildor!”
The blond easily lifted her and spun her around until she was giggling from dizziness. Erestor stood and received a large hug until he was pushed to arm’s length and made to walk and turn a circle. He rolled his eyes, but his smile was wide as he demonstrated that he had no further need for a cane.
Elrond’s smile faded as he turned away from the happy scene and met Glorfindel’s eyes. Sighing, he pulled his friend from the shadowed corner and into his chambers. Without asking, he poured two glasses of miruvor and handed one to the blond. “You could join them, just as Gildor has done. Sídhiel’s delight would be all the greater were it you.”
Glorfindel shook his head and drank the heady cordial in one swallow. “I am singularly unwelcome among that company, Elrond. It is better this way.”
Elrond bit his lip to keep from saying anything. He did not believe the damage was irreparable, but his friend seemed to. His gentle pushing and prodding had gotten them nowhere. He hoped that soon enough something would give. The tension was becoming too much to bear.
~~~
Sídhiel and Mel conspired together and soon had Elladan flat on his back being tickled by the wily pair. Erestor was leaning against Gildor and watching, a bemused smile on his lips.
Gildor turned his head and caught Erestor’s eyes. “You look better than you have in a long time, mellon nín. It is good to see you happy once again.” His eyes turned to Sídhiel who was currently being tickled senseless by Elladan. “She is amazingly resilient.”
Erestor voice was soft as he shook his head. “Sídi is not as carefree as she seems. She is afraid of the dark… and has such nightmares that she no longer sleeps in her own bed. The child that showed me the beauty of the plains of Rohan by Ithil’s light can no longer sleep alone.”
‘And it is all my fault.’ Though his words were unspoken, Gildor felt their weight.
The wanderer gathered Erestor’s hands in his own and disagreed. “What you said might be true, but for Sídhiel’s sake, you need to forgive yourself. Just be there for her and soon enough she will be back to her old self.” He grinned as Sídhiel pounced on Elladan, sitting on his legs and pinning them so that he could no longer fight as Mel began to tickle him. “Just let it go. She will be fine.”
Erestor nodded, his eyes intently watching his daughter. When she felt eyes on him, she grinned. “Ada! Gildor! Come on! Elladan is too strong for just Mel and me. We need help!”
Laughing, both Gildor and Erestor joined in the games.
~~~
Anor’s descent saw Elladan, Silamothien, and Melpomaen leaving the picnic. Erestor looked up from the book he was reading and waved as they left the small gathering. When his eyes met Gildor’s he smiled fondly at the pair. Sídhiel was lying with her head in Gildor’s lap. They had been identifying clouds for some time and both seemed quite content to continue their soft chatter.
Erestor’s eyes returned to the book, but he found that he was no longer concentrating on the words on the page when Sídhiel’s soft question reached his ears.
“Uncle Gildor, did I make Glorfindel mad by running away?”
Erestor stiffened, but tried to act as though he was still reading and had not overheard her.
Gildor frowned and looked down into dark blue eyes. “Why do you ask such a thing?”
She shrugged and tried not to show how much she cared about the answer. “He has not come to see me since I was hurt.”
“Oh, pen dithen! Glorfindel has checked on you whenever he is available. He has merely been very busy.” Gildor looked down at Sídhiel and gathered her up in his arms when he saw the wetness shimmering in her eyes.
Erestor took several deep breaths to try to calm the sudden fury engulfing him.
Sídhiel shook her head and snuggled into Gildor’s embrace. “I was afraid…”
“Afraid of what?” Gildor glanced at Erestor and saw the anger in his eyes. He shook his head and Erestor pursed his lips, counting silently in hopes of banking the fire in his veins.
“I-I was scared that he didn’t love me anymore… and-and that others might get angry and send me away.” Sídhiel shuddered and finally broke down.
Erestor set the book down and stood. Gildor shook his head and mouthed, ‘Nay!’ but Erestor’s eyes flashed cold fire as he stormed away. Tightening his arms about Sídhiel, Gildor soothed and comforted the child while praying that his friend did not let his anger make things even worse.
~~~
Squaring his shoulders, Erestor turned toward the barracks and the office of one returned golden lord. As he walked, his steps quickening as his anger grew, he cursed himself for being a fool and cursed Glorfindel for being an even bigger one.
By the time he reached the training arena outside of Glorfindel’s office, his eyes burned brightly and all ducked out of his path. Not even bothering to knock, Erestor stormed into the warrior’s office and slammed the door behind him. At that moment, fury overcame all sense and he stalked over to the large desk and slammed his fist down on it, shouting, “You stiff-necked bastard! You stubborn warg! I have had enough of this! You may have given up on us… me… but you are not allowed to write Sídhiel off! She is too young to understand and now believes that anytime she misbehaves she stands to lose the love of those around her! So get off your sorry arse and fix it. Now!”
Erestor’s eyes blazed and he stood there panting lightly as he ran out of steam, unsure what more he could say as cornflower blue eyes unflinchingly met his. Not once did Glorfindel shy away from the sharp tirade. A small flicker crossed his brow and he pursed his lips, but he did not reveal further emotion.
“Are you finished?” he asked coldly.
When the golden warrior seemed completely nonplussed and totally unaffected by his outburst, Erestor sagged. The fight was gone; his anger had burned itself out, leaving nothing behind but bone deep sorrow. He dropped into the chair and met Glorfindel’s eyes. Instead of seeing the remembered warmth, he saw chipped ice and felt a chill run up his spine at the realization that it truly was over between them.
Erestor shook his head. He licked his lips and took a deep breath. “Nay,” he started, voice soft as he tried to gain his composure and his will to finish this. Tilting his head down because he could not bear to meet that cold gaze, he continued. “I came here for Sídhiel. She misses you. She needs you. Please?” he begged. Finally, he looked up, but his eyes stared resolutely at the small line at the corner of Glorfindel’s mouth. “I would do anything that you asked of me… for Sídí. She does not deserve to bear the brunt of my foolishness. Please reconsider? For her? You loved her once; please show her that affection again?”
As the words tumbled out of his mouth, they gave Erestor pause. Was he still talking about Sídhiel? Or had the topic suddenly changed out from under him? Turning into a thinly veiled request for himself?
That knowledge sent Erestor’s thoughts churning. His breath began to speed up and he felt the walls closing in on him. Standing suddenly, he spoke in chopped words. “Never mind. Forget it. Forget I came. Forget all of this…”
Before he could turn away, a large, calloused hand gripped his wrist and held fast. Erestor was caught, but he refused to shift his eyes away from the door and escape.
“Nay, I’ll not forget any of what you said and I’ll not let you go until you look at me and answer me honestly.” Glorfindel’s voice was deeper than Erestor remembered. It felt like warm molasses, thick and rich and he could not help the tingle he felt from the blond’s words.
Erestor nodded his head and turned around very slowly. He did not have the strength to meet Glorfindel’s eyes, but he had to. When he looked up, they were no longer hard and cold; instead they had softened and were questioning him as a small smile curled Glorfindel’s lip.
“I need to know the truth. Did you come here only for Sídhiel? Or was there something else? Some other reason?”
The deeply drawn breath stuttered in his chest and his stomach tied itself in knots, but he licked his lips and answered as honestly as he could. “I - I came for her, but I asked… for me.” The last two words were spoken in a hoarse whisper, barely audible.
Glorfindel’s grip eased up on his wrist, but he did not let go, instead a thumb slid softly over the rapid pulse. Erestor heard a deep sigh and tore his eyes away from the finger moving over his skin.
“Erestor…” Glorfindel was standing, taller than Erestor, but he was not towering over the raven-haired elf. His body was filled with tension, a crease forming between his eyes, but his hand was gentle as was his voice when he spoke. “We both have a lot to make up for. Are you saying that you are now willing to try?”
Biting his lip, Erestor answered, not easily, but he forced the words past his lips. “Aye. I am a fool and I do not wish to continue as we have been.” He turned his body and placed his hand over Glorfindel’s, stilling the stroking thumb. “Come to dinner on the morrow? So the three of us can begin again?”
Surprise widened the blonde’s eyes, but a pleased smile graced his lips and he nodded. “I would like that… very much.” Hope filled his heart and he visibly relaxed.
“I look forward to it.” Erestor freed his wrist and stepped toward the door, not yet willing to leave, but hesitant to stay. “I am not telling Sídhiel. I think she will enjoy the surprise. Good evening, Glorfindel.”
“Good evening, Erestor.” Glorfindel’s voice was warm and lush and brushed the councilor’s ear as he closed the door behind him. His legs felt like jelly and his throat was as dry as the sands of Harad, but his heart was hopeful once again.
TBC
Translations:
ada – daddy
Anor – sun
Ithil – moon
Laer – summer
mellon nín – my friend
pen dithen – little one
