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Author's Chapter Notes:
Questions answered, plans unveiled, and oaths revealed...

internal thoughts be in italics

Iavas, Edge of Eryn Vorn, 141 F.A.

Standing in the door of the hut, Maglor smiled at the scene before him. Gildor stood at the small table, preparing vegetables for a stew for their dinner; his sleeves pushed up past his elbows and his hair pulled into a single braid down his back. Many stray tendrils had made their way loose and were teasing his face, causing him to continually blow them away.

Hearing the soft chuckle from the door, light grey eyes locked with Maglor’s, before returning to their task. “Are you just going to stand around staring, or can you make yourself useful?”

The dark elf strode into the hut and tossed his catch on the table. “How do four prepared and dressed rabbits sound? Useful enough for you?” He quickly walked behind the blond and gathered him in his arms, then proceeded to kiss him senseless. “Or is there another use you have in mind for me?”

Trying to disentangle himself from the arms encircling him, Gildor replied, “If you cannot restrain yourself, dinner will be greatly delayed. Can I at least get the stew on the fire first?”

Maglor released the blond, grabbed a carrot, and began noisily crunching on it. “Aye, I will wait until dinner is cooking. You are just so irresistible, meleth, how do you expect me to keep my hands from your luscious form?”

After playfully pushing his persistent lover away, Gildor efficiently cut up the rabbits and they quickly joined the vegetables and spices in the stew pot, which he hung over the fire. Maglor moved out of the way and leant against the wall, content to observe. Once he had placed a lid on the pot, Gildor moved back to the table to clean up the peelings and bones. He was aware that Maglor was just standing there, smiling. “You do realize that this would go faster if you helped.”

“Aye, I am aware of that, but I am enjoying the show. It is pleasant to have you here, just being domestic. Something we have never really done.” It was true. In their years together, they never had the luxury of normalcy. There was always fighting, running, war councils, never anything as simple as preparing a meal together. There had been no time for the simple pleasantries of life.

Gildor washed his hands and wiped them on a towel before turning to look at Maglor. His words had evoked memories and feelings that had been long buried. Thinking on what they had endured in their time together, Gildor was amazed that they had found any time for each other. Extending his hand to his lover, he walked to the fireplace and the pile of pillows and furs. Maglor walked with him eagerly. The blond was still like a siren call to him, as he had been from the very first.

Sinking to his knees, Gildor encouraged Maglor to lie down on his stomach and stretch out. There were questions that needed to be asked and it was often easier to deal with these things when you did not feel the pressure of eyes upon you. The blond began to expertly knead Maglor’s muscles through his shirt. He wanted this to be relaxing, not sensual, at least not yet.

“Maglor? Why did you never seek me out? After... you know. So much time had passed. Why did you not try to find me?” The thought that Maglor had cast Gildor aside, still ate at him and he needed to understand what had happened to the dark elf in the intervening years.

Maglor had been relaxed and comfortable, not sensing the setup for more intense questioning, until that question. “Gildor.” He tensed and tried to turn over, but the blond pressed him down firmly, obviously he did not want this to be a face to face confrontation. Closing his eyes, he began to tell an abbreviated version of his life since they parted. “I watched you for as long as I was able. It should not have surprised me how easily Elrond and Gil-galad would take you in. I need not have worried, but I did fear for you. I kept reassuring myself until you had gained a position so near to the king that I could no longer watch you without being discovered.” Remembering that day, when he vowed to walk away forever, knowing that Gildor was better off without him, still hurt. But, the blond was here with him now, the pain was in the distant past.

“I left then. I made my way out of the elven realms and far into the reaches of Man. I told my heart you were better off without me and I had seen with my own eyes the truth of that… so to me, you and all of Elvenkind were dead. I have seen much of Middle Earth. The men lead such brutish, short lives, but that eases concealment. I need only to be gone twenty years and then I can return, as my own son. Very convenient, indeed.”

Gildor had kept up his massage, having that to concentrate on, instead of his emotions, kept him from crying out and interrupting. “But... I was not dead. You knew that. Make me understand.”

“I was not going to saddle you with me. There were no few elves, and still are, that would like to see me drawn and quartered. What would they have done to you if they learned you were my lover? How better to bring me to my knees than through you?”

Gildor heard the truth in those words and knew that none except the trusted few closest to them ever knew that he was Maglor’s lover. The dark elf had always been careful of him. He remembered that it had chafed at first, as he was young and wanted to shout his love to the sky, but Maglor was ever shrewd and careful and had not allowed that, nor had he even made it known how his feelings ran. “But, it hurt. I was so angry with you. I often dreamed that you came back for me and I cast you aside. As you can see, I did so well with that plan.” Gildor’s voice was laced with pain and bitterness.

Maglor refused to be kept at bay any longer. Turning over, he took the blond in his arms and held him close. “Meleth, I had made my way back to the elven realms to check on you, but I learned all the elves had left Middle Earth... I did not know what to feel. Happy that you had at last returned to Valinor, sad that I had lost you forever. No matter what I kept telling my head, my heart continued to hope that we would be together. That we are now, is incredible; something I never dared dream.”

Gildor rested his head on Maglor’s strong chest, drawing comfort from the steady beating of his heart. He did not want his lover to think him weak, but he could not deny that Maglor easily undid him still. Lifting his head, he looked into those dark eyes, which had so readily convinced him to disobey his father and follow the dark haired elf anywhere. Their lives together had been short and harsh and Gildor had been young. Could they truly be together now, after so much had occurred in the intervening millennia? For a brief moment, Gildor doubted, and then he was tenderly kissed, and all concerns melted away in that moment.

~~~*~~~


Doron looked up when he heard the hastily cleared throat. Trudging into camp were four ellyn, bedraggled and weary. “Captain, they fared no better, it would seem.” Faron looked up and it was as his lieutenant had spoken. Straightening, he moved to meet them.

“Sir, that swamp is... there must be an enchantment on it. We were forewarned and took extra precautions.”

Cannith interrupted. “Sir, even though Medlion speaks hastily, he speaks true. A powerful enchantment is the only thing to explain our ending up back here when we were continuing on, into the heart of the place.”

Doron had moved to Faron’s side and met the captain’s gaze before the he spoke. “Do not fear that you will be disciplined for this. Obviously, it is out of our control. Lieutenant, gather everyone. We must put our plan into action.”

Doron stuttered at first. “But, but, Sir... we only just thought of it. It hasn’t been completely vetted yet.”

Faron sighed. He did not want to explain what was now required of them all, but it had to be done. He prayed that the Valar would smile on them and they would find the lord and lady before it was too late.

~~~*~~~


Sídhiel stretched languidly and arose from the bed. Looking around, she wondered what had awakened her, when the scent of roasted meat wafted to her nose. Ah, lunch! That smells delicious! Her stomach rumbled and the half-elf realized it had been far too long since she had an appetite. These past few days that she had been in Estë’s garden had restored her greatly. Feeling more confident and positive than she had in some time, Sídhiel greeted the afternoon with a smile.

The roasted meat and vegetables were succulent and Sídhiel found she ate more than she had in a long time. Once she finished the meal, she straightened up the small kitchen and washed the dishes. The sheer normalcy of the act allowed her mind to wander and soon she found herself thinking, and she began to miss her family. Afterwards she wandered through the gardens, enjoying the beauty and serenity. No one was around and the warmth of Anor combined with a full stomach conspired to relax her. She finally sank to the ground by the stream and lazily trailed her fingers in the water, her mind drifting and her eyes staring off to the horizon.

Across the garden, while talking to Estë, Irmo noticed the half-elf and asked, “Why is she still here?”

“She has not yet expressed a desire to leave and you bade her to stay as long as she liked.” Estë reached up and tenderly smoothed the furrows from her husband’s brow. “What vexes you so, seron vell?”

“Maglor and Gildor. They are not bonding. I have tightened the fog about Gildor’s recent memories, but he is still not giving completely of himself. And, I fear that if they do not bind, Maglor will not return with him to Elvenhome.”

“But why is it so important for Maglor to return? You have yet to explain your scheme to me, vuin nín.”

Irmo grabbed his wife playfully, and lightly kissed her. “I have not, nor will I. You are too soft hearted, melethril, and might try to interfere.” As his kisses grew more ardent, he smiled as Estë melted in his arms.

Estë dearly loved her spouse, but at times, he was exasperating. “I? Interfere?” She was unable to refrain from smiling as Irmo nibbled her neck. “ Stop that! You are just trying to distract me and nothing more. Tell me of your plan and I may be able to help.”

From the base of her neck, Irmo gave a muffled response, “Yes, I am most definitely trying to distract you... as you are distracting me.” He rubbed his arousal against her hip. “I desire you. Can we talk about the child later?” He bit her lightly on the neck, then soothed it with his tongue. As he continued up her neck and along her chin to lightly nuzzle her ear, he looked into clear green eyes. “I love you, my only.”

Estë gasped as a smooth hand moved inside her gown to cup her breast and thumb her nipple. “Aí, meleth nín, you will undo me.”

Irmo chuckled lightly as he rolled her nipple in his fingers. “That was the intent.”

“Come away then. We can worry about Sídhiel later.” Estë turned to her husband, and gave him a deep, plundering kiss, thoroughly enjoying his reaction. She took his hand and the pair vanished.

~~~*~~~


Soon the small band of elves were seated around the fire, chatting amicably. There was an undercurrent of unease in the conversations, as all wondered what they were to do if the swamp itself seemed to be allied against them, but none openly expressed their concerns. Finally, Faron stood and held up his hand to get everyone’s attention. After all were quiet, he began by explaining the oath he had sworn to Lord Gildor. The captain’s own unease with their agreement was clear in his voice, but none could deny that Gildor had needed the reassurance that his lady would be safe if anything happened to him. Before he even finished the rest there were angry shouts, for none liked the idea that their search time was limited. All of the elves in the party had become fiercely loyal to their lord and lady and hated the idea that they might be forced to leave without them.

Doron jumped to his captain’s defense. “Silence! Stop this nonsense! None of us like the oath, but we would not be here at all if he had not agreed to this. Hold your tongues and listen to all of it!”

Faron had a grim expression, but his eyes smiled at Doron. He spoke firmly when he began to explain their plan. “We will split up. Eight will take the north route around the swamp and eight will take the south route. Four will stay here, in the hope that the lord and lady will make their own way out. The rendezvous point will be on the far side of the forest in two weeks. Hopefully, a path through the swamp can be found from another point of egress. We have a single cycle of the moon to find them before we must quit this place and take ourselves to Dol Amroth.”

After many questions and much clarification, the parties were selected and all was made ready to leave at first light. The entire party was subdued and quiet. None wanted to contemplate what would happen if they were unable to find their lord and lady in the short time they had left to them.

~~~*~~~


Sídhiel was unaware of the scrutiny by the two Vala as she strolled in the muted light of Ithil. The washed out colors of the garden, stood in marked contrast to the bold, riotous display by Anor’s light. She found the silvery greys soothing and the tones suited her mood well. Sídhiel was no longer desperately pained by what Lord Irmo asked of her. For now, she was hopeful and her pain was as muted as the colors of Estë’s garden at night.

Lord Irmo glared at the half-elf and turned to his wife. “You said you would send her home. It has been long enough, seron vell. Return the child to Middle Earth. I do not like her lingering here.”

“But, meleth nín, you bade her stay as long as she desired. She seems at peace here.”

“I care not. While she remains here in Lórien, their guards are continuing to search. For the moment, all the glamours remain in place, but they are not strong and will not last long. Sídhiel must return and have them call off their hunt. Gildor cannot be found until they have bonded.” Irmo’s tone was cold and firm. He had a duty to perform and would do whatever it took to meet that commitment.

Estë recognized the set of her husband’s jaw and his tone all too well. He would not be dissuaded, so she would ‘comply’. “Aye, milord. I will tend to her needs this night and return her on the morrow. Soon your worries will be lessened.” As she lightly caressed his smooth cheek, her eyes smiled at her husband, her only one. She did love him, but that did not mean that she always agreed with his tactics. If she achieved the ends he desired, but through her own means, no harm would be done. “Go. Rest. I shall take care of everything.” Standing up on tiptoes, she kissed his lips. He grabbed her arms and kissed her back firmly.

“Aye. I do find myself needing to rest. Come to bed soon.” Lord Irmo released her and vanished.

Estë quietly walked to Sídhiel and tenderly placed a hand upon the half-elf’s shoulder. “Child?”

Sídhiel started and swiftly turned to meet concerned green eyes. “Oh, my Lady, it is you.” As her heart slowly returned to its normal cadence, she smiled sheepishly. “You startled me. I guess I was lost in my thoughts.”

“No need to apologize, but come and sit with me. We must talk.” The Vala led the half-elf by the elbow to a stone bench beside the stream, where both sat.

Ithil’s light gleamed upon the slowly moving waters of the stream and Sídhiel stared as though mesmerized. She had been thinking deeply and had not yet completely shaken her reverie. Her slightly glazed eyes looked at the Vala as she said, “Before we talk, I want to thank you, my Lady. You have been most generous with me. I know it was not required and I am deeply grateful. Now, what did we need to speak of?”

Estë watched the half-elf carefully. She was amused by the slightly dazed expression on her face. The gardens of Lórien were healing to battered fëar, but the magic was powerful and too much of it would turn normally vibrant elves into listless dreamers. “First, I am pleased you are better. Your color is good and you appear strong and whole. You must return to Middle Earth. It is time.”

“But... but...” Sídhiel protested. The idea terrified her. She was unsure if she could find Gildor, and if she did, how would she get him away from Maglor? “I am not yet ready. There are other things I want to do while I am here!”

“You are well past ready. If you stay longer you will lose your strength and determination.” Estë chuckled, as she recognized a delaying tactic. “Whatever else could you want to do whilst in my gardens? They are not vast. You have explored their entirety.”

A thought from her earlier musings came in answer. “I want to see my adas.” She blurted it out and continued on, heedless of the Vala’s astonishment. “I miss them and want to know how they fare.” Taking a deep breath to calm herself, Sídhiel lifted her chin and stared into Estë’s eyes. “Please?”

“Oh, child. You know not what you ask...” Estë’s tone was sorrowful as she looked into hopeful blue eyes and could not refuse. “I will grant you this, but only if you agree to return. You must.”

Sídhiel’s voice was soft and quivered slightly. “Aye. I will return... I am scared, though. What if I cannot remind him who I am? What if I do, but he still wants Maglor?”

Estë cupped the half-elf’s cheek and met her eyes. “Do you love him still?” Slowly, Sídhiel nodded. The Vala then went on. “So, how do you expect to get him back if you will not fight for him? You cannot fight from here.”

A strong determination flooded Sídhiel as she realized the Vala was right. She had to return or Gildor was certainly lost to her. A fire was lit in her eyes as she looked up at Estë. “Very well. When do we leave?”

Estë smiled, her plan was coming to fruition. She stood and held her hand out to Sídhiel. “Come along then, we have to get you ready.”

~~~*~~~


Sídhiel stood in stunned confusion. Three complete sets of the dark silk Haradrim leggings that she had specially made for her, as well as creamy linen under shirts and dark over tunics, were laid out on the small bed in the cottage. In addition, there was a new pair of boots and a new pack. Her knives and their sheaths were carefully laid out next to the pack. “Oh, my Lady, this is most generous of you. I do not know how to express my gratitude.”

Estë smiled brightly and waved her hands at the items. “I am pleased you like them; we can not have you wandering through a swamp in a cotton shift, now can we? There is one other thing that I must give you...”

Sídhiel caught something in the Vala’s tone and her eyes shifted up from the bed and her knives, to Estë. “More? You have already been most generous...”

The Vala reached out her hand and lightly pulled Sídhiel’s up. “This.” She pointed at Sídhiel’s index finger which proudly bore Gildor’s binding ring upon it. “You will need to tread carefully. Gildor does not remember you exist. Wearing the same ring as he, might be too much, too soon.” The Vala slipped the ring off Sídhiel’s finger and slid it onto a delicate mithril chain. “Lift your hair child, and I shall clasp this chain so that you will always feel the ring next to your heart.”

The half-elf’s gut clenched as the binding ring was removed. It had not been away from her skin from the moment Gildor slid it onto her finger at their marriage ceremony. Sídhiel tried, but she could not contain a sob as it left her. Even the feeling of it pressing against her chest did not ease the ache its loss from her finger caused. She looked up at the Vala, her eyes wet with tears. “I apologize. I know you speak true and are only trying to aid me.”

“Hush, child. You have nothing to apologize for. I understand how difficult this is for you. But soon, it will all be behind you. Sleep now. I will awaken you shortly before dawn.”

Before the Vala could leave, Sídhiel grabbed her arm. “My adas? I will see them?”

Estë turned and pressed tousled curls away from the half-elf’s cheeks. “Aye. First thing in the morning, just as I promised. Now rest. You will need all your strength for when you return.” The Vala lightly kissed Sídhiel’s head, turned away and left the little cottage.

Sídhiel packed her gifts and set out the clothes she would wear, before drifting through the cottage and blowing out all the candles, one by one. Once all the flames were extinguished, the cottage was awash in Ithil’s light. It made the cottage warm and inviting and Sídhiel realized how truly exhausted she was. As soon as she laid her head upon the pillow, she was fast asleep.


TBC

Translations:
Iavas – autumn
Eryn Vorn – (dark forest) forest by the sea in western Minhiriath
meleth – love
seron vell – beloved
vuin nín – dear one
melethril – lover (female)
meleth nín – my love
Ithil – moon
Anor – sun
fëar – souls
adas – fathers
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