Chapter 5:
Iavas, Edge of Eryn Vorn, 141 F.A.
The dark before the dawn came swiftly, but Sídhiel was awake and dressed even before Estë’s arrival. The Peredhel was most excited to see her adas and know that they were well, so she did not delay. The Vala smiled at her eagerness. “Shall we be off, then?” After an answering nod, both vanished from the little cottage, soon to arrive on a wind swept beach, Anor’s first rays peeking over the eastern horizon.
Sídhiel breathed deeply, the air crisp and tinged with something indefinable, a scent she did not recognize, even for all her years spent by the sea. She was anticipating seeing her adas and could not stay still, continually pacing from the water’s edge to the large stone outcropping, her eyes always turned inland, seeking.
Soon she heard far off splashing and in the dim light of dawn, she could just make out two horses riding towards her. Sídhiel turned to Estë and asked, “That is them, is it not? They will be here soon!” Her voice betrayed her excitement.
“Aye, child, they will be here soon; but know that they will have no sense of you. You are not here to them. Do you understand?”
Sídhiel nodded, but never took her eyes off the rapidly nearing horses. It felt as though she had not seen Erestor or Glorfindel in an entire lifetime and she needed reassurance that they were well. She still felt guilty for breaking her promise and not sailing with the twins, but she could never have left Gildor.
Erestor rode up on Naurion, both rider and mount’s black hair flowing behind them in the wind. Sídhiel gasped as her ada dismounted and walked right through her to the large flat stone and threw himself down upon it, laughing breathlessly. Only a moment later, Glorfindel rode up, he and Asfaloth closely mimicking Erestor and Naurion’s actions. Once the horses were free of their riders they frolicked in the waves and sand.
Sídhiel stood watching, awestruck by seeing them once again. The love between the elves sparkled around them, as though a tangible thing. They were smiling brightly and laughing, their joy infectious, and Sídhiel found herself smiling fondly at them. Anor finally broke completely free of the horizon and sent blinding rays across the water to warm their faces. She watched as they both turned and stilled, their joy no less obvious, but a quiet longing shone from their faces. Sídhiel sat down behind them, wanting to be near, to soak up their warmth and their presence, etching it in her memory to tide her over until she could be with them in reality.
Glorfindel slung his arm over Erestor’s shoulder and pulled him close. “Sídhiel will come; you have the dream to reassure you that it is so. We will be a family, all together, once again.”
Erestor answered, his voice soft, “I have no doubt of that, but I worry for her. I wish I knew for certain that she is well and happy.” The half-elf wanted to hug her adas, to let them know that she was well and would come to them as soon as she was able, but they did not know she was there, so she could not. She ached at the hurt she caused those she loved the most. The tears streamed down her face as she looked to the Vala and choked out the words, “I want to leave now.”
Estë wrapped an arm about Sídhiel’s shoulder. “Come away then.”
The two sated elves lay in the warm bed, their bare flesh pressed close to keep away the chill air in the cottage, because neither wanted to rise and stoke up the fire in the hearth that had died away to embers. The lassitude from their lovemaking lingered, but neither slept, their minds awash in memories and questions. Finally, Maglor broke the comfortable silence with a teasing question, “So, pen valthen nín, since I have endured your wicked interrogation most amiably, will you now answer some of my questions?”
Gildor laughed at that. He rolled over on top of his lover, pressing him down into the bed. “Nay, melethron, I am not yet done with you. Your answers were not fulsome enough.” His eyes smiled mischievously, but then he gasped as Maglor twisted and flipped them both over, reversing their previous positions, and holding the blond’s hands above his head.
“You think not, eh?” Flint grey eyes sparkled in the dim light and Maglor leaned down, lightly kissing his lover. “It is only fair I know of your life after we parted, as I revealed mine. Tell me of Lindon and the twins.” Maglor regretted the circumstances of their abduction, but he had cared for Elros and Elrond and wished to know how they had fared.
Gildor had to reveal Elros’ choice and how badly Elrond had taken it. He had been worried that the Peredhel would fade from grief at the time, but only much later learned that Elros made his younger brother swear that he would live and find his place in the world. Maglor was saddened that the elder half-elf was no longer of this world, but he was proud of all Elrond had accomplished.
“And what of you, meleth nín? What was your life like in the intervening millennia?” So much time had passed since they were last together and it was clear to Maglor that Gildor was no longer the smitten youth that simply followed where the son of Fëanor led. The love and desire was still there, but Maglor sensed something so much more and needed to know.
“There is so very much and yet so little, in truth, to tell. Thanks to Elrond, I was accepted in Lindon and even Gil-galad grew to trust me. He was a shrewd king and a good leader, who knew that he needed to be aware of everything that went on with his people, no matter how far flung. There were a group of us that court life did not particularly suit, so we began traveling. Most were minstrels and performers, a few others such as myself were there to listen and gather information for the king.” Gildor had been happy with the Wandering Company, but he was also lonely, and had been glad of the opportunity to roam, secretly hoping that he would hear news of Maglor, but it had never happened.
“Later, after the fall of Eregion, I went with Elrond and helped him begin Imladris. You should see it! A beautiful, hidden haven that became my refuge when the world and grief became too much. I gained family there…” Gildor’s voice was filled with peace when he spoke of Imladris and the people there.
“You married?” Maglor tried to keep the question teasing, but he was worried by the idea of Gildor having a family, for he had not failed to notice the golden ring on his lover’s index finger.
“Married? I? Nay. Erestor who was orphaned by the destruction in Eregion became my dearest friend. He was the only one who ever knew of you, that is how close we were. Elrond was there, and others. It was home, more than I had ever experienced in my life. Even though I was often away, I was coming home when I rode into that valley.” Gildor was wistful for the loss of Imladris. He knew when Elrond sailed, that his valley home would gradually disappear. A frown crossed his face at that moment, for Gildor felt that Elrond had already sailed, but the wanderer did not remember that occurring. He shook his head to clear his thoughts, but his brow remained furrowed.
“Meleth? Are you unwell?” Maglor was concerned and reached to tenderly smooth Gildor’s brow.
“Nay, I am fine… just my thoughts seem… muddied.” The blond stared intently into his lover’s eyes, reading the concern and love in them. Gildor was warmed by the emotions, feeling secure and content.
Maglor shifted to his back and pulled Gildor close to him, holding the blond tightly to his chest, reveling in their closeness. “So, will you tell me how you found me? Did you travel here alone?” He was rubbing soothing circles on his lover’s back, the movement calming and reassuring for them both.
“Alone? Nay. I came… with…” Gildor’s words trailed off as his confusion from a moment before paled in comparison to what he was now feeling. “I must be tired, meleth, for I feel that I came with a party, but I cannot say that I recall that.”
“Hush, then. Sleep. It is late. We have plenty of time for words.” Maglor pulled the blankets over them and kissed the golden head as he shifted to hold Gildor more comfortably throughout the night.
As Anor rose, the elves were readying for departure. Faron was staying with three others to meet the lord and lady, if they returned. Doron led the party venturing north, while Cannith led the party taking the southern path. All were subdued and quiet, each with his own thoughts, all fearing they did not have enough time for an adequate search.
As the horses were being saddled, Faron stopped beside Doron and his mount. “May I have a word with you before you depart?”
Doron looked up from where he had been checking his horse’s saddle blanket. “Of course, mellon nín.”
“Walk with me for moment.” Faron’s voice did not betray his anxiety, but it was unduly quiet. As both ellyn walked to the shoreline to gaze out over the great western sea, their thoughts were disturbed, each wondering if they could reveal their feelings. Finally, Faron broke the silence. He turned to Doron and put his hand on the younger elf’s shoulder. “I need to tell you something before you go. There are words that I should have spoken before now, but I feel the urgency to say them most keenly at this moment.” Faron’s light brown eyes looked into his lieutenant’s grey ones as he continued. “Doron, I care for you, more deeply than simply as a friend. Please stay safe and come back to me.”
Doron’s heart leapt at finally hearing the words that he had thought impossible. His joy gave him great strength, and he leaned in and pressed his lips lightly against the ones that he had dreamt of for so long. Suddenly, instead of leading the kiss, the younger elf felt himself pulled tightly against Faron, the captain’s arm wrapped about his waist and a hand upon his neck. His mouth was plundered and he moaned at the long pent up feelings that swamped him. Finally, Faron pulled away, both ellyn panting and eyes darkened with desire. “I will come back to you, for we have unfinished business,” Doron replied with a bright smile. He began to walk away, but his hand was held and pressed against the captain’s lips. “See that you do, for I will be dreaming of the night that you return to me.”
Faron watched as Doron and his group rode off into the northern reaches. His heart was heavy as he worried that he had waited too long to act.
Suddenly Sídhiel found herself back in the swamp, in the exact place she was before, by the fallen log. The first thing she noticed was that it was later in the day than it had been in Valinor; from Anor’s position it seemed to be late morning instead of just past dawn. Thinking about that, she guessed that it made sense, for Valinor was somewhere west of where she was now. She had a hard time comprehending how far the Vala had sent her in the blink of an eye.
Sídhiel glanced around quickly to make sure she was alone and safe, before she exclaimed out loud, “Oh, thank you ever so much! Could you not at least have dropped me off closer to my goal?” Huffing in annoyance, she shouldered her pack and resolutely marched into the swamp, hoping this time that the path would be obvious.
After what felt like eons of trudging through the muck and mire and heavy foliage, but was in reality no more than an hour, Sídhiel stopped to rest upon a fallen log. Groaning, she realized that she was back at the exact same log, yet again. Slowly, she slumped down, and pulled her knees to her chin. She would not cry. She could do this.
Sídhiel dropped her pack to the ground and dug through it for some waybread and water. Determined to make it to Maglor’s place before nightfall, she needed to regain her composure and formulate a plan. After a few bites of lembas and some water, she felt better. She laid the lembas on the log and closed her eyes to concentrate and clear her mind. Perhaps the animal that she had sensed earlier, would still be nearby and amenable to helping her.
As she eased down upon the ground, next to the log, Sídhiel began the exercises to calm her emotions and clear her mind. Beginning with her hair, she pulled it back and swept it up off her neck, helping her to cool in the thick, humid air. The air brushed against the half-elf’s neck giving her a slight relief and she mused about how stifling the swamp was. It was mid-Iavas, but this place so near the sea, seemed to trap the heat in, as though the dense foliage and overhanging branches were thick, woolen blankets, hanging onto Anor’s every ray of light and heat.
Once she reached the necessary depth of peace, Sídhiel began to probe with her mind, reaching for an intelligence in the forest. Having remembered that she had done this before, she aimed for her own sliver of energy, hoping it was still attached to the creature from before, and had not dissipated. She took her time, wanting to find help, without being too depleted to avail herself of it. Suddenly, a dim glow caught her attention and she aimed in that direction, it was her energy! That it was still out there, and had not dimmed, gave her renewed hope. Targeting the spark, she spiraled a thin, web-like line of energy from the creature to herself. She would easily be able to follow the trail now.
Though she had been careful, Sídhiel was still tired from the effort and energy she had expended, but she would not let herself sleep. She was too worried about not finding her way if it became dark. After more water and lembas, the half-elf decided that she was as rested as could be under the circumstances. She stood, shouldered her pack, and sought to follow the thin line of energy with her internal senses, while insuring that she did not lose track of a viable path through the swamp.
Though she had a destination and a, ‘bread crumb’ trail, it still took two hours before Sídhiel managed to find the creature she had pinned her hopes on. When she realized that the stand of saw palmetto, a scant few feet away from her, contained the lair of a female black panther with cubs, she stopped in her tracks and slowly backed away. Sídhiel had used her gift upon wild animals before, but it was never a sure outcome and discretion was most definitely a necessity when faced with a mother.
Carefully she dropped to her knees, her eyes never leaving the large yellow ones staring at her without blinking. Slowly, she reached out with her mind and sent soothing emotions and thoughts to the panther, hoping that her distance was far enough that the great cat would be receptive. It took much convincing and pleading and effort, but ultimately the panther agreed to help Sídhiel.
The panther did know of another, ‘two legs’ in the area and his den was not far from their location. Sídhiel followed closely, once the great cat shot off into the swamp, cursing to herself because the panther was not always aware how tall the half-elf was. This caused many stops and backtracking when Sídhiel could not pass through the same path as the great cat. It seemed but a short time, when finally, she scented smoke on the air and was encouraged, for it meant they were close to her destination.
The black panther padding silently before her glanced back and conveyed its growing unease. Sensing an increasing nervousness in the great cat, Sídhiel stopped and knelt on the ground, ensuring that she was at eye level to it . Understanding that the cat’s concern stemmed from the nearness of the other, ‘two legs’ as well as the distance from her cubs, Sídhiel met the large yellow eyes and expressed her deep appreciation for its aid, as she released it to return to her family. Immediately, the cat was gone in a blur of black.
Standing and adjusting her pack, Sídhiel again tested her link with Gildor, but sighed at encountering the same wall, blocking her as before. Well, I will find what I find, when I arrive. Continuing on, the Peredhel realized that the panther had provided a distraction for her, and now she could not stop imagining what her mate had been doing during the past week. As she neared the clearing, she tried to keep her anxiety from overwhelming her emotions, but was unable to contain her joy at finally reaching not only her goal, but also completely solid ground.
TBC
Translations:
Iavas – autumn
Eryn Vorn – (dark forest) forest by the sea in western Minhiriath
Anor – sun
pen valthen nín – my golden one
melethron – lover (male)
meleth nín – my love