Title: There Once Was
Author: Hare (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Pairing: Elladan, Elrohir
Disclaimer: Amateur at work here. No profit has been gained and no infringement of copyright is intended.
Timeline: Third Age
Warning: A bit of angst, silliness, and lousy limericks!
Beta: Ezimachia. All mistakes are mine.
Summary: Elladan and Elrohir have a scary, scary secret.
Authors Note: Written for the “Young Person” category of Binky’s Imladris Slash Awards!
The twins share a secret. Dark and disturbing, it dominated their daily thoughts. At night, in beds separated by mere inches, they held hands and whispered fearfully of this mystery. This secret strengthened their bond, yet they felt completely alone and detached from all others. Somehow their thoughts had become skewed, and each day they fought the clandestine feelings and cryptic needs that warred within and between them.
Information, they finally agreed, was the answer as their parents and tutors had always told them knowledge represented true power. For surely they were not the first to experience this strange pull of love for another male.
Many days passed as the twins scoured the library. The keepers of the books were suspicious at first, but then allowed them free reign when it was realized they meant no harm. Weeks and then months passed until they happened upon a concealed and securely locked door behind an almost hidden aisle of books about the weather patterns of Middle Earth.
A padlock meant nothing to the double scourges of Imladris. It was quickly defeated, discarded and they entered a room of treasures. Agog, the twins reverently touched scrolls that explored every taboo subject and nervous giggles escaped them as they flipped through the pages. But none of the books contained information on the love to be found between males until Elrohir pulled down a large tome dedicated to scathing remarks about Oropher and his role in the slaughter of his own people. The book tumbled out of his grip and spit out, from its depths, a slim bound volume simply titled, “Illicit Love.” One quick glance showed it was exactly what they were searching for even though many of the words were confusing, their meanings were clear.
Hiding it beneath Elrohir’s tunic, they grabbed a dictionary, crept back to their chambers, and locked the door behind them. Wicked excitement tainted with feelings of shame compelled them to drag the thick coverlet from one of the beds and throw it over a table. The twins then snatched up two candles and swiftly crawled into the hastily constructed cave.
Excited breathing echoed in their shelter as they reverently opened the book and gazed at its pages. Inside were crudely scribbled poems scrawled by different quills on a mish mash of pages that were ineptly glued into the binding. The first was barely legible on a crumbling sheet. Elladan touched it gently as he read.
“In the beginning One Hundred Forty-four was our sum
Life so simple and boring we sat on our thumb
‘Go forth and multiply,’ commanded Ilúvatar
Unheeded by us carnally engaged and afar
Gleefully replacing said thumb for cock up our bum”
“Cock? Why would they put a chicken inside their bum? Look it up, Elladan!”
Nodding his head in agreement he did just that.
“Hmmmmmm, cock - a male chicken, a hammer? Ooooo, Elrohir. It means penis!”
Elrohir grabbed the book and dictionary from his twin’s hand. His mouth dropped open when he saw that Elladan had not been joking.
“Ewwww! Maybe this is why it is forbidden. That’s disgusting!”
Elladan scratched his head and a bewildered look graced his face. Why would anyone want a penis up their bottom?
“I recognize these two names. Read this one, brother.” Elrohir commanded as he handed back the book.
“Gentle Maglor seemed such a bore
His oft praised singing caused many to snore
But his mouth promised delights
And filled Gildor’s dull nights
To this day theirs is lust to adore.”
“What is lust? And what does his mouth have to do with anything?”
“I don’t know, Elrohir. Why are these poems so hard? Plain words and clear meanings. Erestor always said that is how we should write.”
“Well these use big words, and I don’t understand them!”
With a sigh he rattled off the definition. “Lust - an intense overwhelming sexual desire or craving.”
“They had sex? In their mouths?”
Shuddering and repulsed they chimed, “Ewwwwwwwww,” before moving onto the next rhyme.
“Poor Maedhros was caught and needed undone
For dangling from a rock was really no fun
Until stealthy Fingon with his sword did free him
Now their mouths and cocks duel, no tears for the limb
For three hands are much better than none”
“Another with the cocks and mouths. This makes no sense. Why are these important?”
Elrohir threw himself back onto the floor. “We need someone to talk to about this!”
“But we can’t. It’s forbidden and we will be exiled!”
Elrohir sat up and pulled his brother into a tight hug and they held each other for awhile whispering soothing words and reassurances. Finally they felt strong enough to face the book. Elladan flipped through until he found a name he recognized.
“Nimrodel danced near the river bearing her name
Beloved by Amroth she returned only disdain
Her true love held by a fair maid
Mithrellas was she who cruelly betrayed
‘Til by chance reunited they romp in frenzied twain”
“Um, Elrohir. This one is about two ladies.”
In unison they scrunched their faces in offense and declared. “Ewwwwwwwww!”
“Oh no.” With hesitant veneration Elladan pointed at the next composition. “Ada and his brother.” They stared at each other long before he dared begin.
“Endless tragedy filled their young days
Bravely united they faced the malaise
Until love they did find
Their lithe bodies entwined
Sparked Elrond and Elros light the blaze”
Both audibly gulped but refused to comment, and Elladan read the next verse without pause.
“The High King and his Herald are most bold
They flaunt sodomy out in the cold
Until one day on ice
Elrond’s thick girth dared not suffice
Now Gil’s virtue is quite widely extolled”
“This is the second poem with ada.” Elrohir stated solemnly.
But neither wanted to contemplate what this meant for their ada was bonded to their nana. Surely he had never been involved in prohibited loves, so they forged on quickly.
“Sodomy?” Elladan evasively changed the subject while hoisting the dictionary and searching out the word.
“Here it is. Sodomy - anal intercourse between males.”
But Elladan ignored his twin as he was already thumbing through the “A” section.
“Anal or anus, opening through which solid waste is expelled.”
Elladan looked up with fearful eyes while his brother still appeared muddled.
“Its cock up the bum again, Elrohir.”
Elrohir raised an eyebrow, the only comprehensible answer he could manage.
And then Elladan burst into giggles and pointed a shaking finger at the next poem.
Elrohir bounced in place and encouraged his brother to, “Get on with it!” Which Elladan did, gladly.
“There is a feared elf we call Erestor
Though beautiful he puffs like a barrister
He wears obsidian robes
Over his pert rounded globes
And is secretly Glorfindel's oyster”
They snickered over the ‘pert round globes’ sentence both understanding the reference. But that last word confused them and they once more consulted the dictionary.
“Oyster - marine bivalve, edible, may contain a pearl. A pearl! Nana loves to wear those. Do you suppose Glorfindel wears Erestor somehow?”
Elrohir snorted. “That makes no sense. Keep reading.”
Elladan bent to the task. “Oh, listen to this – oyster, a special delicacy, something from which benefits may be extracted.”
“What’s a delicacy?” questioned Elrohir.
Elladan shrugged his shoulders and looked the word up.
“Delicacy - something delightful or pleasing.” He dutifully recited.
“Erestor is Glorfindel’s delight!” shouted Elrohir.
Picking up his twin’s excitement he voiced a plan. “We can see them.” He held up the book and pointed at it. “If these poems are true then they love each other! We can follow them and watch them.”
For days their eyes tracked Erestor and Glorfindel’s every move. But the two seemed to ignore each other most of the time and only interacted when their positions demanded it. Deciding that more drastic action was needed they hatched a bold strategy to stealthily invade Erestor’s bedroom. To ironically put to use all those skills taught to them by their life long tutors.
The first night they hid, scared, beneath Erestor’s bed yet he did not appear until very early the next morning. He had come quietly into his room, quickly messed the bed covers before changing attire and leaving again.
But the next night while hidden in the wardrobe they stared wide-eyed and shocked for once Imladris had lain down to sleep, Glorfindel snuck into Erestor’s room. And for the next few hours Elladan and Elrohir learned exactly why mouths, and cocks, and bums are so important.
Dazed yet happily satisfied with their new found knowledge, they lovingly straightened and repaired all the pages of “Illicit Love” before returning it to its hidden nook. No longer fretting over their dark secret the twins dared add their own poem to that dangerous tome.
“The elf man and elf knight were here
Into your secret love poems we did peer
Lust and cocks and bums and mouths
It will be many years before our hands stray south
But for the love we feel there is now no fear”
Written for the “Young Person” category of Binky’s Imladris Slash Awards!